Dilemma..

Sejak imran discharge dari ward hari tu, aku memang sensitive sikit apa-apa pasal imran. Even kalau orang nak cakap anak aku manja sekalipun aku rasa nak marah je. Budak kecik..memang la manja dengan mak dia. Please la don't give me that face macam anak aku ni mengada manja lebih. Well at least i know my kids love me.

He has iron deficiency anemia. Sebab low iron la basically. Buat masa ni, he's on syrup iron and syrup vitamin C and we need to monitor his feeding strictly. Tapi seriously aku rasa nak nangis je bila dapat tau anak aku tak nak minum susu and just makan 2 sudu bubur everyday. I won't blame others. No, i won't. Dalam hal macam ni, memang aku akan blame diri sendiri. But i'm a working mother..Tambahan pulak sekarang ni cuti kami dibekukan sebab preparing for bencana banjir sekitar pantai timur. Ikutkan hati, nak je aku amik cuti tanpa gaji. I really need help from my pengasuh. Tapi dia pun macam tak ada effort nak pujuk imran makan. Aku tak reti nak tegur orang lebih-lebih. I'm afraid people might misunderstood me..kata aku cerewet ke ape ke.

Semalam rasa nak breakdown je depan suami aku bile cerita pasal imran. My hubby suggest to find other pengasuh. I think it is one of the best idea but it's hard to find one yang memang betul-betul boleh layan imran  macam anak sendiri. Aku takut orang cubit-cubit anak aku..sebab aku pun xpernah jentik anak aku. I need someone who can sit and wait for him to finish his food. Allah...hope will find one soon. We discussed thru whatsapp just now, my mom volunteer-ly nak jagakan imran. Maybe we need to ulang-alik KL-Bentong. I know it's hard. Macam menempah susah la orang kata. Tapi demi imran... i really need someone who can focus on his meal. Within 3 months i want to see a big improvement in his hemoglobin. Berat imran tinggal 7.2kg je hari tu. Nampak susut..pipi dah tak tembam sangat. I can't just sit back and relax watching my son eating only 2 spoons per day over 9hours. Dia selalunya boleh makan 2 mangkuk kot kalau dalam masa 9jam tu. 

I'm sorry..i really need a change. I do feel sorry terpaksa susahkan my husband. He didn't agree for me to ulang alik naik bas je... Dia nak drive me KL-bentong..i don't know how long mampu bertahan..but for next month, we need to sacrifice.

Semoga Allah mempermudahkan segalanya..I do understand maybe my pengasuh busy nak jaga budak lain or maybe she has any marital issue..Tapi my son is my priority..If ur problem does affect my son health performance..i can't stay any longer.